Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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