New invention idea: vibrating tampons
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
