well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
