Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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