Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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