I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
