So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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