Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
