Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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