i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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