First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
