They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
