I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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