hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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