He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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