it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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