he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
