After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
