dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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