There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
