come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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