making cat noises will not fix the situation.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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