It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
