Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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