He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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