eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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