"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
