I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
