if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
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God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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