My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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