This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
