The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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