Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
