It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
