Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
