he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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