This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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