I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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