remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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