and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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