I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
