i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
