Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
either way he was missing a nipple.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
