i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
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i would one night stand the shit outta him
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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