SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
