he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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