if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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