what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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