If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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