dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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