I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Randomize
