i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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