i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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