Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
