she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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