The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize