at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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