I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize