i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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