I think i sorta joined a cult last night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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