This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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