watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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