We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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