I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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