Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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