Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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